A wounded heart occurs when someone or something brings hurt to your emotions. "The words of a talebearer are as wounds, and they go down into the innermost parts of the belly" (Proverbs 26:22).
The world over, no matter what place you would go, the consensus would be the human heart is important. From the beginning of time, there has been a fascination surrounding it. The ancient Egyptians believed the heart channeled everything that pertained to life. It was the source of all emotion, as well as wisdom, and love. The Egyptians felt at your death the heart was placed on a balance with a feather on the other side (the feather symbolized universal truth), and your life was weighed out according to that truth. Every year there are songs, poems, and Facebook posts about someone stealing, breaking, hurting, healing, and everything in between concerning the heart. Yes, we are fascinated with the amazing, this amazing organ.
From the science / medical world, the heart is extremely important; this organ is the life force of the body. However, we can look to the Bible and see that the heart is mentioned over 800 times. The Bible speaks of many aspects of the heart from guarding our heart, to knowing it; to the fact it is basically and inherently wicked. The heart is referred to as the will and wants of humanity. When you begin to study deeper about the heart in the Bible, you come to understand the fact a broken or wounded heart can and does happen. You quickly realize the condition of your heart is a matter of life and death. In the natural man, we know this by the fact a wounded heart can cause death. So, it is the same in the spiritual man, a heart wounded or hurt can cause spiritual death. But, in the spiritual, the death of your heart also the potential to cause you to turn away or become stagnant in your walk with God. At the very least a wounded heart can limit, restrict, and even change or distort your view of God. It can also become the breeding ground of deception.
Joseph was betrayed by his brothers and sold into slavery, lied about by Potiphar's wife, and thrown into jail. Then to add insult to injury while in jail his last hope to get out of prison was left forgotten. Yes, Joseph truly knew what it meant to have his heart wounded by those around him. Hurt and wounds caused deep scars upon the heart of this man, but the pain and suffering Joseph went through made him into the man God could use to save many people! Nevertheless, these pains and hurts and wounds were needed in his life to bring about the life God intended for him! We can see from the low points in Joseph’s life that you can still grow and walk in the fear of God while your heart is being shattered. There can be life during the brokenness if you will place your trust in God during the trial. Joseph understood what it was to lean heavily upon God in times of being broken and confused. Joseph was a man that lived out the words that David later wrote. “Cast thy burden upon the Lord, and he shall sustain thee: he shall never suffer the righteous to be moved.” (Psalms 55:22). By the end of his life, Joseph discerned it was only through the trials, the wounds, and the hurts of life that God had added great blessings to his life. Adversely, this same hurt and pain can cause us to never grow deeper in God. The tree when wounded will carry the evidence for the rest of its life and people will always wonder what caused the scar, but the tree overcomes and grows. However, if the wound is too deep it causes the tree to die. In the spirit when we are hurt and wounded, we can allow the hurt to reach so deep in our lives that our spirit begins to wither and possibly die.
A person wounded will most times withdraw into himself or herself for protection. Just like a physical wound will cause a person to instinctively protect, provide relief from the hurt, to find a place of hiding or refuge. So, the same happens to the spiritual side of a wounded heart. If people pretend their emotional wounds are healed when they are not, there will be even greater problems in time. Many times, God will often send someone into our lives desiring to help us to promote healing. It is at that moment where the wounds of the heart have the potential of being cared for and the healing to start; it is also, where dealing with the root of the infection can occur causing (vulnerability, fresh emotions, and relived pain). Often the infection continues in our lives because the painful wounds in our hearts were never truly managed or presented to God. Never addressing the fact there is a wound in our lives can cause us more ongoing pain and suffering than the initial wound itself. Sadly, it can also be the stage that the wounded person unknowingly closes themselves off to the voice of their shepherd, no longer hearing the voice of God in their lives. Not realizing the wounds have affected them to the point they are starting to enter the early stages of death. Have you ever heard someone say, “my heart is cold as a stone!” Sadly, this is nothing more than an outward expression of a severely wounded heart.
There is a reason the Bible gives us the 14 chapters on the life of Joseph, there is a reason the Bible covers the tragedy of the life of Job, in the Bible, there is account after account of the pain and suffering of others. It is so we can find hope where there can be healing of the heart. Yes, you may come out on the other side with scars and may walk with a limp, but you can say there was a day in my life that God brought healing! It simply takes us falling on our knees and asking God to forgive us for not allowing him to heal our brokenness. This type of healing nearly always occurs after an “altar call moment” or a paradigm shift. Allowing the Master Physician to begin to peel away the layers and to masterfully begin to heal and restore our hearts a piece at a time. This is the only path to complete and permanent healing!!
On any given Sunday in America the churches are full of broken hearts. The pews are filled with those that have had their heart broken, those that are currently experiencing heartbreak, and the rest who will be broken or wounded in the future. The reality is this is part of life, part of living in a broken fallen world. So, is it wrong to have a wounded heart? No, a wounded heart is not wrong, but if you have one, it is important to be healed so you can properly move forward with complete freedom. In Old Testament days, if a priest had a wound or a bleeding sore, he could not minister. What if that were still true today?? I think that in the church today we have a lot of wounded ministers. By that, I mean many people in the body of Christ are trying to help others heal, but they still have unhealed wounds from the past. These people are trying to stop others from bleeding, while they are still in need of a tourniquet.
Am I saying people in this situation they cannot minister to people? Not at all, but I am saying they need to first be healed. Jesus said that the blind cannot lead the blind, because if they do, they will both fall into a ditch. What is the use of me trying to minister victory to others if I have no victory in my own life in that area of hurt? How can I properly minister emotional healing to others if I still have unresolved emotional hurts from my past? To minister well, we need to go to God and let Him heal us first. We need to realize that God is not looking for people to try to heal others while they are still hurting. He wants people with wounds that He can heal, who will then go and bring that same healing to others. God loves to use people who have been freed from their hurts and wounds because no one can help a hurting person better than someone who has been through the same kind of scenario. "For everything, there is a season," even for times of loss and sorrow. The pain of losing someone dear to us, or watching a relationship come to an end, can be immense and overwhelming. We feel isolated and alone, confused and lost, certain that our suffering will go on forever.
Emotional wounds may leave no visible physical scars, but deep within that heart is suffering, and a spirit is withering in pain. A relationship that is filled with conflict, shattered friendships, and a grudge that will not be settled; all bring just as much agony and suffering as do physical illnesses and injuries. When we choose to be in a relationship with another human being, whether it be a spouse, friend, or associate, we must accept them as they are, the good along with the bad, mistakes and all. There will be a pain, there will be sadness and anger, and sometimes even rage. But as Paul proclaimed in his letter to the Corinthian churches, "Love is patient. Love is kind. It does not provoke, does not boast, and is not jealous. It believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”
FIVE SIGNS YOU ARE LIVING WITH A WOUNDED HEART
Bitterness – The mental reenactment of hurt or wrong. The feeling of resentment toward a person, situation, or circumstance. The inability to release emotions that cause pain or hurt. Easily become critical or unsympathetic, overly independent, overly self-reliant. Many times, leaving one incapable of true intimacy. Hebrews 12:15 - Looking diligently lest any man falls short of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled.
Un-forgiveness – When we have been wounded, we often refuse to grant forgiveness because we feel like it is letting people off the hook for their transgressions. Choosing to not grant forgiveness is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die. It does nothing but hurt us and holds us back from healing and moving forward. Forgiveness is letting go of all hurts for a better future. You cannot change what happened, but you can control how you move forward. WARNING: A wounded heart that does not receive healing is an open door for evil spirits. Ephesians 4:26-27, I Peter 5:8, Genesis 4:4-7, Matthew 18:21-35.
Sarcasm – Sarcasm is one of the more subtle, socially acceptable ways wounded hearts defend themselves. Often masked in humor, sarcasm can range from friendly banter, and little jabs at someone to full-on passive-aggressive attacks. We get the word sarcasm from the Greek word sarkázein which means to “rend flesh” – the ripping, pulling, or tearing apart of skin and flesh. Sometimes sarcasm is used as an equalizer, to cut someone down, to tear at their self-esteem. If you frequently use sarcasm to express yourself, using phrases like “I was not serious, I was just being sarcastic”, I will challenge you to examine the thoughts, feelings, and motivations behind why you choose to express yourself that way. Ephesians 4:29 - Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.
Negativity – Negative Nelly, is the term we use for people who tend to see everything in a negative light. Is the pessimist who sees the glass half empty (pessimistic) or does not easily trust others and at times even does not trust God. Could simply be a protective behavior from bad life experiences. But if you find that negativity is your standard M.O., that is a warning sign you have not dealt with underlying issues of the heart. Proverbs 21:23 He who guards his mouth and his tongue, Guards his soul against troubles.
Apathy – We can be wounded to a point where we give up. Apathy is contagious, and the opposite of being passionate or hopeful, it affects everyone. It promotes stagnancy and even death. ‘I came to give you life, and life more abundantly” Apathy can kill that promise of being present in your life.
Hebrews 2:1-4 Therefore we must give the more earnest heed to the things we have heard, lest we drift away.
Isn’t it funny how different plants respond to adversity? Ones we thought were tough shrivel up, while others that seem dainty are much more resilient than we expected. This is a fresh lesson we learned from our rare winter storm almost a year ago. Life always gives way to the warm sunshine of spring; the season of our suffering comes to an end, and we can move on with the joyfulness of being alive. "For everything, there is a season and a time for every purpose under Heaven." Ecclesiastes 3:1 That is true of our flowerbeds, and it can be true of our lives as well. We go through various sorts of trauma, emotional dry spells, freezes, and more, and they affect us in strange ways. A wounded heart can feel forgotten, isolated, rejected, and defeated. Perhaps we even wonder if God has abandoned us. But before you give up on God or yourself- take a cue from my flowerbed: First, weed out your worries. Do not let them choke out the life in your spirit. Second, water the soil of your heart liberally with prayer and worship. One thing hard times should teach us is that we aren’t meant to handle such things on our own. And finally, we are to wait on God... even in brokenness...
“Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Grieve, mourn, and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.” (James 4:7-10 NIV) God’s work in a wounded heart goes deep. It is healing, but it is seldom instantaneous. So be patient in your difficult times and see if in a little while His new life will begin to emerge from the frozen roots of your heart. He will in due time lift you up.
A Final Thought
Forgive. Accept. Love. The three steps of the path of healing, a path that can only be accomplished with humility, and walking daily with Jesus. He can heal our hearts and free our hearts to forgive, accept, & love.
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